Zahir al~Dawud (thetao_ofmike) wrote in the_uncool_club,
Zahir al~Dawud
thetao_ofmike
the_uncool_club

Application

+ Name
David
+ Age
19, going on 20, to think I'm really growing up
+ City, State:
London, Great Britain, United Kingdom


+ Ten favourite bands/musicians
1. Tool
2. Led Zeppelin
3. The Who
4. Elvis Costello
5. Arctic Monkeys
6. Tom Waits
7. Franz Ferdinand
8. The Moody Blues
9. Remus and the Lupins
10. George Harrison

+ Ten favourite movies
1. A Room w/ a view
2. Vertigo
3. The Emperor’s New Groove
4. The Holy Mountain
5. Eraserhead
6. Very Bad Things
7. Evil Dead 2
8. The French Connection
9. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
10. Zombieland

+ Five favourite books, and why
1. One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey, after being compared to it enough times I finally decided, alright let’s see what all the fuss is about…now I know. Disruptive mental patients treated.
2. The Road by Cormac McCarthy, I love McCarthy. He’s so nihilistic and it just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And OMG THE FILM STARS VIGGO MORTENSEN!!! Excuse me, I’ll be in my bunk..forever.
3. 1984 by George Orwell, I specifically told my Lit teacher I shouldn’t read this because of my paranoia tendencies, but I had to read it anyway. I thought I was hearing transmissions from Big Brother for months. I eventually learned to appreciate it for its own merits…once the voices stopped telling me who really killed Diana. SILENCE, OR I’LL POKE YOU WITH A Q-TIP AGAIN!
4. A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway, I love everything by Papa, but this was Hemingway at his best, novel wise –that’s why it makes a cameo in one of the greatest films of all time(well, not really, but wouldn’t that be neat if that were true?). He was an absolute bastard, wasn’t he? But “just enough of a bastard to be worth liking.” Well, no, not really, he was just a bastard, walked out on his kid, but I love his work. Especially the fake news stories. Wow.
5. The Curious Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stephenson , ah, there’s a theme of brilliant satires on the duality of man with psychedelic influences to this list, isn’t there? Or am I the only one that notices it? A classic story and with all the crap that carries its name, nothing holds a candle to the original. IT IS TIMELESS.

+ Favourite drink:
The Flaming Moe Homer, Must. Kill. Moe. Weeeeee! Must. Kill. Moe. Weeeeeeeee!!!
+ Favourite food:
Potato – anything
+ Why do you think you're uncool?:
…I live with my mum…? Why would that make me uncool? You know you’re jealous. Especially if you knew MY mum. I was held back in school several years for reasons I’d rather not say. Mostly, I was a twit and confused people. I’ve been kicked out of places for heckling…including pet shops. To name them all would be tl;dr. Shit, to name all my points for being “uncool” might be tl;dr. My secondary mode of transport is a large rusty old van with a peeling decal of a plant company on the side of it. I don’t own or sell plants. It was a great deal down payment, but it EATS GAS. My primary mode of transport is walking. My best friends are the large leather bound books on my shelf, my Yu-Gioh card collection, and the now grey, nearly unstuffed stuffed dog on my Buzz Lightyear sheets. My worst enemies are the voices in my head and the razors in my dresser drawer. I have more issues than Glamour, but then who doesn’t these days? Personally I don’t understand the whole “mental illness” is the new “trademark for classic cool” thing. All it did for me is make me feel isolated and alone, and those who think it’s cool make me feel like I must be lying too, and then I…behave stupidly. I'm openly bisexual...not just in a trendy way, though most of the community sees it that way, trendy or "confused", but honestly because I 1. love, love, love women, older, younger, though not *too* young, I don't mind, and 2. because I just genuinely like having such intimate connections with men, young boys -- again, not *too* young -- possibly because I never knew my father...possibly

+ Any pet peeves?:
bad parents, insolence, prejudice, deceivers, rapists, when good people do nothing
+ Motto or personal quote?:
Just be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.
+ What four words best describe you?:
I’m the Juggernaut, bitch.
+ What is your biggest fear, and why?: Change…because… I’m British


+ What are your hobbies?: Writing haikus, internet, hiking, cliff-diving, rock-climbing, walking, jogging, fucking, is that a hobby? Or just something people without any hobbies say they do to avoid being labeled such a loser? same for drinking…RPing, world domination, ripping on anime and classic films while watching them, finding the most deplorable things, point and laugh, and share it for all the world to see for my own amusement…

+ If you could be another person for a day, who would it be, and why?:
Evan Rachel Wood. See what it’s like to be female and just how freaky Marilyn Manson really is in bed…or if he’s all full of shit. Either would be rewarding. Maybe not for him…obviously.

+ Views on . . .:
abortion:: Well I can’t see how it’d be an issue, unless it were mine, so I’d try to talk her out of it and try to do the honorable thing if she’d have me…but ultimately it’s the woman’s choice and I respect that.
religion:: opiate of the masses, but I’ve never been one to knock opiates
politics:: like celebrity for ugly people
drugs:: Why you offering? That’s rather cruel, I’ve been sober for a year now…I’m done with that phase in my life, really…that’s not just the addiction talking…shut up.

+ Is there another issue that you feel strongly about?
EMBRACE DIVERSITY. WHETHER SOMEONE BE FAT, STUPID, SLOW, LAZY, ARROGANT, INSECURE, MUSLIM, GAY, CHRISTIAN, PERVERTED, OF ANOTHER RACE, COLOR OR GENDER, DRIVE A GAS-GUZZLING VEHICLE, OR ARE DISABLED –DO NOT LOOK DOWN ON THEM. OR ACT SUPERIOR TO THEM IN ANYWAY. BE OPEN TO LEARN NEW THINGS. FOR ONLY THROUGH LEARNING DO WE OVERCOME THESE PETTY DIFFERENCES THAT MAKE US SO ALIKE AND UNIQUE AND TRULY VALUABLE TO SOCIETY.
+ What is your most prized possession?:
My iTouch, yeah, yeah, yeah..I’m a complete tool who won’t buy an iPad…because…well all evidence to the contrary, but I’m NOT a woman

+ Proudest moment?:
Completing sixth form…finally
+ Most embarrassing moment?:
Well I’ve had a few close calls when my gun’s gone off in my hands and shot the edge of the tent…or that time I got up while the trolley was in motion and split the seam of my pants down the middle…oh that was fun, but “I like a healthy breeze around my privates.” Truth is, I really don't embarrass that easily. I don't particularly like finding out that I am wrong, but I suppose I just have to get over that -- it also happens far too often.
+ Goals for the future?:
TV Producer, I don’t particularly mind staying with the BBC. I know everyone’s like, “Oh America’s so much better!” and I’m hardly a loyalist, but…okay maybe I am…*shifty eyes*
+ If you had $5.00, how would you spend it?:
Porn or food…the order is obviously of some importance

+ What is your guilty pleasure?:
Celebrity gossip and Pink – the pop singer, not the color, I never feel guilty about wearing pink.
+ Tell us a joke.:
Oh, I guess my application wasn’t enough for you, huh? Well then…



+ Would you give your life for something or someone? If so, who or what would it be, and why?:
A truly innocent person. I would probably love them.

For the same reason the chicken crossed the road.

To get to the other side.

+ How did you find the_uncool_club?:…This place is real? I thought I was hallucinating again.

I know, I know Pics or it didn't happen
omg

I'M A T-REX RAHHR - I GOT AN ITCH I CAN'T SCRATCH
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  • 5 comments
yes. Because of the reason for your fear. Even though your voters appear to have wanted "change" this week.

And now I close this box so I don't rant.
Wow, an application. For a million years I forgot I was on this thing. And I'm a moderator, apparently.

I like you. Your application made me laugh, beginning to end, but it didn't lack genuineness. Esp. liked your choice of who to be for one day, because basically it was your way of saying in this app that you just want to fuck Marilyn Manson. That's excellent.
Yes! Love your views, and you seen like a guy I would want to know.
Lol - love it.
Please and thank you.